EngAGE Blog

How EngAGE Taught Me to be a Creative Con Man

by Megan Hocking
EngAGE Program Director
Burbank Senior Artists Colony

I’m not a joiner. Group projects and icebreakers are a waste of time to me. You can’t be the best at trust falls, so what’s the point? Believe me, I’ve tried. Ouch. I’ve been a hobbyist since I was a kid. I dabble in lots of arts-and-craftsy things, and it’s always made me a little uncomfortable. People tell you to pick something you have a talent for and stick with it, develop it until you are the very best. This speaks to my heart, or the part of my heart that needs the doctor to tell me my blood pressure is perfect.

This philosophy has stopped me from doing many things I loved. Do I love to sing in the shower? Sure. Do my neighbors love it? Probably not so much. Being average or, God forbid, below average at something that made me happy kept me from participating. I never joined the school choir because I’m not as good as Emily Chapman (man, she was good). I never took an art class because I couldn’t draw like those kids who sketched Pokémon all over their notebooks.  I was always comparing my creativity to others, devaluing my interests because of my lack of skill – until I started to work for EngAGE.

I have been a Program Director for EngAGE for ten years now, and seeing the residents jump in with both feet has changed the way I embrace my own creativity.  Over these years I have seen so many residents share the same reservations as my own. “Oh, I’m not a sculptor. There are real artists who live here.” “I could never remember the choreography. I would just embarrass myself.” I knew these residents would love to flex their creative muscles if I could just find a way to get them there. I tested different methods but at the end of the day, what mattered was finding a way to take the pressure off. Once they dipped their toes in, they took to the creative waters like fish.

I still wasn’t able to make the connection from these reluctant residents to myself until I went to a performance. The acting class had been working all summer to put on a play. I had planned to pop in and out, setting up the after party, taking photos, catching a few lines here and there, but none of that happened. I found myself glued to my seat, laughing my a** off.  It was the best show I’d seen in a long time. Was it perfect? Absolutely not. Some forgot their lines, some missed their cues, but it was incredible. I wracked my brain trying to figure out how they did it. How did these women, many who had never acted before, enrapture a full theater? Then it hit me: confidence.

EngAGE programming gives residents confidence. I began to see it everywhere. In an art student proudly standing next to their watercolor, or another one gleefully hanging a wreath they made on their door for the holidays. And everyone got on board. The compliments and praise flowed for their creativity, starting a chain reaction. They tried more classes and had even more fun, giving them more confidence. I wanted to be like them. How could I be like them? Confidence.

Even though my heart was yearning to be the best at whatever form of creativity I wanted to pursue, I pushed that away. Instead I embraced confidence. I tried cooking things I never dared before, dancing, and painting for the first time. Was it the best osso buco you ever tasted? Not by half. But I was my own hype man. I was confident in my creativity and others embraced me for it. At first it felt like I was tricking myself and everyone else, but who cares? The “con” in con man stands for confidence, and I was ready to rob that bank of creativity for all it’s worth.

EngAGE and its communities’ residents have changed me for the better. Their confidence in their creativity has shown me that it’s worth it to go to that acting class, even if you miss your cue. That it’s worth it to join the choir, even if you’re a little flat. The avalanche of joy that follows the imperfect creative process is worth it. I used to scoff at participation trophies. Now I realize that the participation is the trophy. I’m a creative con man and I’m here to charm the smock off you.

Megan Hocking, Program Director
(BSAC) – Megan has worked in non-profit and municipal recreation programming for over ten years. She earned her degree in Recreation Administration at the California Polytechnic University in San Luis Obispo, where she specialized in Special Events and Business Marketing. Megan is an accomplished event planner and instructor. She has been volunteering and working with older adults for most of her life, and enjoys offering her unique brand of fun and energy to EngAGE programming.